museum of the bad brush

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Bienvenue, Welcome, Bienvenidos, Namaste.

I am Cia Walling-Trout, the owner, founding owner, sole proprietor, and head owner of Museum of the Bad Brush, New York’s most enviable gallery cache of artistic treasures.      

I never imagined myself as a curator, but then again, back in the early 1990s, young women with lucrative modeling contracts seldom considered pursuing the family business.  Mummy and Dads collected tirelessly throughout my youth, always helicoptering off to Paris,London, and the Dutch country, but I paid them no mind, distracted as I was with my own creative endeavors.  At that time, I couldn’t imagine a life that didn’t involve me sharing my passion through Jazzercise or my vocal gifts via ska.  But two husbands and one Bainbridge Island Ferry accident later, I jettisoned my delicate bird bones back to New York to embrace a love that I could no longer deny: l’art (art).

The economic crash of 2008 was truly a travesty to everyone, except for me.  Amidst the financial ruin of millions, I used a few well-timed Florida real estate sales to birth the Museum of the Bad Brush into existence.  Populated with unethically sourced and stolen pieces in a variety of media, my extraordinary collection spans from the mid-Egyptian era to a few hours ago.

However, I realize that not everyone has the resources or good fortune to visit my gallery in-person, in the heart of Maspeth, Queens. And as committed as I am to neoliberalism, I do believe that art should occasionally extend beyond the rigid confines of affluent walls (albeit in a less breathtaking form to maintain the division of the classes).  For that reason, I ecstatically offer you my Latest Exhibition - a card game opportunity for peasants and the upper middle class to bring art concepts into their own meager homes and experiment with that hoarded asset of the rich, creativity.  With this parlor game, I hope that everyone in flyover states and far boroughs can enjoy my gallery’s transformative experience among their own friends, coworkers, estranged in-laws, and international business associates whose trust you have yet to earn.  

So, my precious plebians, nourish your souls! Unleash your imagination! Heal from your boating accidents!  Join me, wherever in the world you exist, at Museum of the Bad Brush and dive into my Latest Exhibition.  For I am not only the art - we are the art, my dear, delicious hamsters. Prayers in every spirit’s tongue.

→ Experience it online, where the ignorant masses are not permitted.
→ Steal a copy? Only if you have the gall.
→ Art galleries and museums? Only for the elite.
→ Buy the only printed copy? If you have the means.

The Skies Weep for Mr. Sassy Baby
17.78 x 12.7
Papier cartonné
Swiping for love during your morning poo
17.78 x 12.7
Papier cartonné
Study of a Dramatic Facebook
Status and Its Replies
17.78 x 12.7
Papier cartonné
Daddy is Now 65% Hard
17.78 x 12.7
Papier cartonné
The Thug Life Chose Me
17.78 x 12.7
Papier cartonné
A portrait of lactose intolerance
17.78 x 12.7
Papier cartonné
An uncomfortable trip to the gynecologist
17.78 x 12.7
Papier cartonné
The Influencer at Work
17.78 x 12.7
Papier cartonné
Please don’t make me regret
inviting you to this baby shower
17.78 x 12.7
Papier cartonné
Unpopular opinion: period sex edition
17.78 x 12.7
Papier cartonné
Are you my organ donor?
17.78 x 12.7
Papier cartonné
Brilliant, charismatic, and full of shit.
17.78 x 12.7
Papier cartonné
They Who Fucked My Wife
17.78 x 12.7
Papier cartonné
One little opioid never hurt nobody
17.78 x 12.7
Papier cartonné
To Follow One on Social
17.78 x 12.7
Papier cartonné
Being uncomfortably white
17.78 x 12.7
Papier cartonné
The Latest Exhibition - experience the epitome of sophistication with Latest Exhibition, a fill-in-the-blank party game that elevates your discerning personality and unparalleled social aptitude. Indulge in hours of refined entertainment with this esteemed creation."
Acquiring this game through less than conventional means is an acceptable practice for the discerning individual. One may obtain it through me, but under no circumstances is it to be sold, you plebeians. Rest assured, I shall not resort to self-inflicted drowning in the Baltic Sea. Art has been appropriated for centuries, so why break tradition now?

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Experience at any gallery or museum - If you are too lowbrow to appreciate the cultural significance of a physical art gallery or museum, the online version of the game may be the only way you'll ever experience true intellectual and aesthetic fulfillment. Don't disappoint yourself by trying to play in person and failing to live up to the sophistication of the game and its players.

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